Lately
I’m feeling empty
Feeling hollow
Incomplete
I cannot pin it
Insecurity?
Longing?
A lack of completion
For what is me
And what I am?
I am unsure
About everything
About what I planned
To bring me happiness
And what’s left me feeling
Empty
Is this the stage between?
The one I must surpass
Like a hero in the making
I prove myself
But perhaps the trophy
In my sights
Is one that’s glimmer
Surpasses its worth
And it’s just a hollow cup
Just an empty cup.
Lately I’m feeling empty
Lately I’m feeling low
Is it the holidays?
Have they caught up with me?
Is it this painful lurch of
This is real?
I cannot pin it
And am reluctant to find the time
Or to speak about it
To spew about it
So I sit
And type
And try to sort out this mess of
Emptiness
And I’m left feeling
Empty
Feeling hollow
Feeling as though all I have are these lines
And the faint furrow of my brow
And in my gut
I’m empty.
.me.
2 comments:
First I want to ask a questions...how do lemons relate to the blog?
and you know what. This is just the feeling of either life or high school...I really havent been out of high school long enough to tell you its life, but I felt that way all my senior year, it drove me crazy. All ya can do is try to fill it, revamp that drive...and that is what winter break is for!
It is not fair to take this piece so full of emotion and cram it into a small package reading 'senioritis'. I have been out of school for nearly four years and that feeling haunts me now and then. I think that it will always astonish me to no end how you are capable of capturing the unspeakable with words that I never thought pertained.
"But perhaps the trophy
In my sights
Is one that’s glimmer
Surpasses its worth
And it’s just a hollow cup
Just an empty cup."
Its that point you reach where you realize that nothing in this world will bring you joy. Nothing material. Nothing tangible. And its then that you have to decide if you do what will make you LOOK successful, or what will make you FEEL successful.
I know you. Its an honor. I know that what will make you truly happy is not to have the highest GPA or go to the best school. You will not be contented with a degree or even an award. Like me, you want the unconventional and, in many people's opinions, the unbelievable. We are writers first and foremost and we feel things differently than others. Its infuriating sometimes. BUT....we would be miserable otherwise.
What I'm saying is that when you write, you change things. You change people and the way they see things and the way they think and the way they feel and the WORLD. With words. WORDS. Don't look at that trophy as an empty cup. To others, it may be that. To you, it is a cup of ....all the emotions that you've sought to bring to people and once you get to it, you can pour it onto them like never before.
And none of this "winter break" will help bullshit and nonsense. We both know that what we feel as emptiness is almost perpetual and has nothing to do with graduating highschool. We live on a higher plane. You prove that every day with the words you write.
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